


Spindle

by ncfan



Series: The House of Finwë in the Years of the Trees [4]
Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Death, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2013-11-12
Packaged: 2018-01-01 07:11:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1041901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ncfan/pseuds/ncfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Míriel remembers death, and wonders how everyone else could possibly have forgotten.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spindle

She is dying.

Míriel is dying, and Finwë is angry and aggrieved, because he had believed in all the promises of the Undying Lands, and thought that death could not find them here.

She is dying.

Míriel Þerindë is dying, and the Valar are confused, in denial. They deny, even more than Finwë, the idea that something could _die_ of simple weariness in the Undying Lands, deny it stubbornly without even considering the possibility that they could be wrong. Míriel has found that they have a tendency to do that quite often. In the gardens of Lórien, Irmo and Estë espouse this view strongly, tell her that all she needs to do is accept rest and healing, as though she's somehow doing this on purpose. Of all the Valar, Yavanna seems to be the only one who even remotely understands, perhaps because even in the Undying Lands, plants must wither at the changing of the seasons, but even she seems to think that Míriel is somehow willing death upon herself.

They all seem to think that, Valar and Maiar and Quendi alike, that Míriel Þerindë is purposely willing death upon herself, but she isn't. If she could just get them to accept that, maybe then she really would be able to rest.

Finwë begs her to come back to her senses, and Míriel scoffs, as much as she can. ' _Senses? Can you not see what has become of me? Do you deny the sight before your own eyes? Do you mean to tell me that I can not judge what is happening to me for myself?'_

He brings the child, and begs her to come back to her senses. _'Would you leave our son motherless?'_ he asks her. _'Would you render him, alone out of all the children of Aman, motherless?'_

Míriel scoffs again, as much as she can. As if she could stop this from happening. And still, still Finwë refuses to accept that all of her vitality has gone into the baby boy he holds tightly in his arms.

Míriel Þerindë is obstinate above all others, they say, and if she would only accept that there can be no death in the Undying Lands, she would get better. Half true. Míriel will readily accept that she is obstinate above all others when she sets her mind to be. This she has known since the Quendi first devised speech. It was Míriel who initiated the first known argument in the history of the Quendi, against Tata when insisted on the Tatyar camp staying where it was despite the fact that the Enemy's attacks against them were only growing more and more frequent. But she is not willing death upon herself, and she knows very well that she will not just get better if she tells herself that there can be no death in the Undying Lands.

She remembers how it was beneath the stars, in Endóre. She remembers watching new mothers wither away beneath the stars, in Endóre. She remembers how they grew more and more fatigued, and how nothing could be done to stir them, eventually. She remembers watching their pulses stop, and feeling their skin growing cool. As if their life was being spun around a spindle, and no more flax could be found, or the spindle had been stolen, and the fibers of life grew so tangled that a Quendë could not help but choke on them.

Death exists, even in the Undying Lands. It has found her, and the spindle has nothing more to spin. Míriel remembers how it was beneath the stars, and wonders how everyone here could possibly have forgotten about death.

**Author's Note:**

> Quendi—Elves (singular: Quendë) (Quenya)  
> Tatyar—the second clan of the Quendi, the precursors of the Noldor (singular: Tatya) (adjective form: Tatyarin)  
> Endóre—Middle-Earth (Quenya)


End file.
